***** ÕNDOCUMENTED ÁSSEMBLY ÌANGUAGE ÉNSTRUCTIONS ***** ÁÌÒ - ÁÌTER ÒECORD ÁÒÚ - ÁDD AND ÒESET TO ÚERO Á×Á - ÁCCESS ×RONG ÁDDRESS  - ÂRANCH ON ÂIT ÂUCKET ÂÂÉ - ÂRANCH ON ÂURNED OUT ÉNDICATOR ÂÐÏ - ÂRANCH ON ÐOWER ÏFF ÂÒ - ÂÒANCH ON ÂEAVER ÂÒÈ - ÂÒANCH AND ÈANG. ÂÒÌ - ÂÒANCH AND ÌEAK ÂÒÏ - ÂÒANCH AND ÏVERHEAT ÂÓÄ - ÂACKÓPACE ÄISK ÂÓÉ - ÂACK UP ÓEWER ÉMMEDIATE Â×Á - ÂRANCH TO ×RONG ÁDDRESS ÃÁÍ - ÃLEAR ÁLL ÍEMORY ÃÂÈ - ÃREATE ÂLACK ÈOLE ÃÈÉ - ÃRASH ÈEADS ÉMMEDIATE ÃÎÉ - ÃREATE ÎEW ÉNSTRUCTION ÄÁà - ÄISABLE ÁIR ÃONDITIONER ÄÁÍ - ÄECREMENT ÁLL ÍEMORY ÄÁÐ - ÄELETE ÁLL ÐRIVILEDGES. Ä - ÄELETE ÂOOT ÂLOCK ÄÂÄ - ÄIVIDE ÂY ÄATE ÄÂÑ - ÄELETE ÂATCH ÑUEUE ÄÆÁ - ÄISABLE ÆÁNS ÄÉÁ - ÄEVELOP ÉNEFFECTIVE ÁDDRESS ÄÉÅ - ÄÉSABLE ÅVERYTHING ÄÉÆ - ÄÉSABLE ÆUSES ÄÉÇ - ÄÉSABLE ÇRAVITY ÄÉÈ - ÄISABLE ÉNTERRUPTS AND ÈANG ÄÍÐ - ÄESTROY ÍEMORY ÐROTECT KEY ÄÏÖ - ÄIVIDE AND ÏÖERFLOW ÄÐÍ - ÄISABLE ÐROGRAMMER.S ÍIND ÄÐÐ - ÄELETE ÐROGRAMMER'S ÐAYCHECK ÄÒÁ - ÄESTROY ÒETURN ÁDDRESS ÄÒà - ÄESTROY ÒEGISTER ÃONTENTS ÄÓÁ - ÄISABLE ÓMOKE ÁLARM Ä×Æ - ÄELETE ×RONG ÆILE ÅÁÄ - ÅRASE ÁLL ÄATA ÅÁÉ - ÅXECUTE ÁNY ÉNSTRUCTION ÅÁÌ - ÅNABLE Áà VOLTAGE TO ÌOGIC RACK ÅÁÏ - ÅNABLE Áà VOLTAGE TO ÏPERATOR ÅÁÐ - ÅNABLE ÁLL ÐRIVILEDGES ÅÁÔ - ÅRASE ÁLL ÔERMINALS Å - ÅNABLE ÂIT ÂUCKET ÅÃÐ - ÅRASE ÃARD ÐUNCH ÅÉÏ - ÅXECUTE ÉNVALID ÏP-CODE ÅÊÄ - ÅÊECT ÄISK ÅÊÍ - ÅÊECT ÍEMORY ÅÌÐ - ÅRASE ÌINE ÐRINTER ÅÎÁ - ÅÎABLE ÁNYTHING ÅÎÅ - ÅÎABLE ÅVERYTHING ÅÎÇ - ÅÎABLE ÇRAVITY ÅÏÓ - ÅRASE ÏPERATING ÓYSTEM ÅÐÄ - ÅRASE ÐROGRAMMER ÄISK ÅÐÍ - ÅNABLE ÐROGRAMMER'S ÍIND ÅÒÄ - ÅNABLE ÒANDOM ÄEVICE ÅÒÓ - ÅRASE ÒEAD ONLY ÓTORAGE ÅÓÄ - ÅRASE ÓYSTEM ÄISK ÅÓÐ - ÅNABLE ÓÐRINKLER SYSTEM ÅØÅ - ÅØECUTE ÅNGINEER ÅØÏ - ÅØECUTE ÏPERATOR ÅØÐ - ÅØECUTE ÐROGRAMMER. Æ - ÆIND ÂIT ÂUCKET ÆÃÁ - ÆORGET ÃURRENT ÁDDRESS ÆÃÊ - ÆEED ÃARD AND ÊAM ÆÌÍ - ÆIND ÌOST ÍEMORY. ÆÏÄ - ÆIND ÏLD ÄATA ÆÏÏ - ÆÏRMULATE ÏPINION ÆÓÉ - ÆORGET ÓTANDARD ÉNSTRUCTIONS ÆÓÒ - ÆORM ÓKIP AND ÒUNAWAY Æ×Ä - ÆIND ×RONG ÄATA ÇÁÐ - ÇIVE ÁLL ÐRIVILEDGES ÇÒÅ - ÇENERATE ÒANDOM ÅRRORS ÇÒÒ - ÇENERATE ÒANDOM ÒECORD ÈÁÍ - ÈALT ÁT ÍIDNIGHT ÈÃÆ - ÈALT AND ÃATCH ÆIRE ÈÉÏ - ÈALT É/Ï ÈÏÆ - ÈALT ÏN ÆRIDAY ÈÐÏ - ÈALT ON ÐOWER ÏN. È× - ÈALT ×HEN ÂUSY È×Ð - ÈAGGLE ×ITH ÐROGRAMMER ÉÁÍ - ÉNCREMENT ÁLL ÍEMORY ÉÁÐ - ÉGNORE ÁLL ÐRIVILEDGES ÉÅÒ - ÉGNORE ÅÒRORS ÉÆÅ - ÉGNORE ÆIELD ÅNGINEER ÉÑÉ - ÉNÑUIRE AND ÉGNORE ÉÓ× - ÉGNORE ÓTATUS ×ORD ÊÌÐ - ÊUMP AND ÌOSE ÐOINTER ÊÌÒ - ÊUMP AND ÌOSE ÒETURN. ÊÏ - ÊUMP ÏN ÂEAVER Ê×Ò - ÊUMP ×ITHOUT ÒEASON Ì - ÌOAD INTO ÂIT ÂUCKET ÌÍÄ - ÌOAD ÍODIFIED ÄATA. ÌÏÍ - ÌÏCK ÍEMORY ÌÐÍ - ÌOCATE ÐROGRAMMER'S ÍIND ÌÐÏ - ÌOOP ON ÐOWER ÏN ÌÒ - ÌOSE ÒECORD AND ÂRANCH ÌÓÄ - ÌOSE ÓYSTEM ÄISK ÌÓÐ - ÌOSE ÓTACK ÐOINTER ÌÓÓ - ÌEAVE ÓOLAR ÓYSTEM ÌÔÓ - ÌOOP ÔIL IT ÓMOKES ÌÕÁ - ÌOAD ÕNDEFINED ÁDDRESS ÌÕÏ - ÌOG ÕSERS ÏFF ÌÕÍ - ÌÕBRICATE ÍEMORY ÌÕÖ - ÌEAVE ÕNIÖERSE ÌÖÇ - ÌEAÖE ÇALAXY ÍÌÒ - ÍOVE AND ÌOSE ÒECORD ÍÍÆ - ÍELT ÍAIN ÆRAME ÍÏÒ - ÍÏDIFY ÒECORD Í×à - ÍOVE AND ×RAP ÃORE ÎÃ× - ÎOTCH ÃARRIAGE AND GUIDE×AY ÏÃÄ - ÏPEN ÃABINET ÄOOR ÏÏÐ - ÏFFER ÏÐINION ÏÐÓ - ÏVERLOAD ÐOWER ÓUPPLY ÐÁÓ - ÐREDICT OUTCOME ÁND ÓKIP ÐÂà - ÐRINT AND ÂREAK ÃHAIN ÐÂ× - ÐRINT ÂACK×ARDS ÐÃÄ - ÐUNÃH ÄISK ÐÉà - ÐRINT ÉNVALID ÃHARACTER ÒÂÐ - ÒEVERSE ÂIT ÐATTERN ÒÃÒ - ÒEWIND ÃARD ÒEADER ÒÃÓ - ÒEAD ÃARD AND ÓCRAMBLE DATA ÒÄÉ - ÒEWIND ÄISK ÉMMEDIATE ÒÉÇ - ÒEAD ÉNTER-RECORD ÇAP ÒÌÐ - ÒEAD ÌINE ÐRINTER ÒÎÒ - ÒEAD ÎOISE ÒECORD ÒР- ÒEVERSE ÐARITY AND ÂRANCH ÒÐÐ - ÒIP ÐRINTER ÐAPER ÒÐÍ - ÒEAD ÐROGRAMMERS ÍIND ÒÐÒ - ÒEVERSE ÐÒINTER ÒÐÔ - ÒIP ÐAPER ÔAPE ÒÓÔ - ÒEWIND AND ÓTRETCH ÔAPE ÒÔÐ - ÒEDUCE ÔHRUÐUT Ò×à - ÒE×IND AND ÃRASH DISK HEADS Ò×Ä - ÒE×IND ÄISK Ò×Æ - ÒEAD ×RONG ÆILE Ò×Í - ÒE×IND ÍEMORY Ò×Ð - ÒE×IND ÐROGRAMMER Ò×Ò - ÒEAD ×RONG ÒECORD Ò×Ô - ÒEAD & ×RITE WHILE STRETCHING ÔAPE ÓÁÐ - ÓWITCH ÁLL ÐOINTERS Ó - ÓEARCH ÂIT ÂUCKET ÓÃÐ - ÓÃATTER ÐRINTER ÓÄ - ÓPIN ÄISK ÂACKWARDS ÓÍÁ - ÓCRAMBLE ÍEMORY ÁDDRESS ÓÐÏ - ÓWITCH ÐOWER ÏFF ÓÒÚ - ÓUBTRACT AND ÒESET TO ÚERO ÓÓÄ - ÓTACKER ÓELECT ÄISK ÓÓÊ - ÓELECT ÓTACKER AND ÊAM ÓÓÍ - ÓELECT ÓTACKER ÍEMORY ÓÓÐ - ÓEEK ÓÐINDLE ÓÓ× - ÓCRAMBLE ÓTATUS ×ORD Ó×Ô - ÓELECT ×RONG ÔERMINAL ÔÒÄ - ÔÒANSFER AND ÄROP BIT ÕÁ - ÕSE ÁÂACUS Õà- ÕNCOUPLE ÃOMMUNICATION LINES & ÂREAK ÕÅÒ - ÕPDATE AND ÅRASE ÒECORD ÖÆÅ - ÖIOLATE ÆIELD ÅNGINEER ÖÆÏ - ÖIOLATE ÆEMALE ÏPERATOR ÖÇÒ - ÖERIFY ÇÒAVITY ÖÍÁ - ÖIOLATE ÍAINTENANCE ÁGREEMENT ÖÍÐ - ÖIOLATE ÍEMORY ÐROTECT ×ÐÍ - ×RITE ÐROGRAMMER'S ÍIND ××Ð - ×RITE ×RONG ÐARITY ××Ò - ×RITE ×RONG ÒECORD ÙÐà - ÙANK ON ÐOWER ÃORD. ÚÁÄ - ÚERO ÁLL ÄATA ***** ÁCRONYMS ***** ÁÏÓ ---- ÁWFUL ÏPERATING ÓYSTEM ÁÌÕ ---- ÁRTHRITIC ÌOGIC ÕNIT ÁÓÃÉÉÉ - ÁMERICAN ÓTANDARD ÃODE FOR ÉNTERCHANGING ÉRRELEVANT ÉNFORMATION ÂÒÕ ---- ÂASIC ÒEWIND ÕTILITY ÃÁÄ ---- ÃOMPUTER-ÁIDED ÄELAY ÄÅÂÅ --- ÄOES ÅVERYTHING ÂUT ÅAT Å×ÏÍ --- ÅRASABLE ×RITE ÏNLY ÍEMORY ÇÉÇÏ --- ÇOSPEL ÉN, ÇARBAGE ÏUT ÉÂÍ ---- ÉRISH ÂUSINESS ÍACHINES ÉÍÐ ---- ÉNTEGRATED ÍORTICIANS ÐACKAGE ÉÒÓ ---- ÉNTERNAL ÒEVISION ÓERVICE ÉÓÁÍ --- ÉNTRINSICALLY ÓLOW ÁCCESS ÍETHOD ÉÓÏ ---- ÉNCREDIBLE ÓTANDARDS ÏRGANIZATION ÌÉÆÏ --- ÌOGICAL ÉNPUT, ÆOULED ÏUTPUT ÌÉÎÏ --- ÌAST ÉN, ÎEVER ÏUT ÍÃÒ ---- ÍASTER ÃOMMAND ÒEJECTOR ÍÉÃÒ --- ÍAGNETIC ÉNK ÃHARACTER ÒEJECTION ÎÉÈ ---- ÎOT ÉNVENTED ÈERE ÏÃÒ ---- ÏPTICAL ÃHARACTER ÒEJECTION ÏÅÍ ---- ÏBSCURE ÅQUIPMENT ÍETHODOLOGY ÏÓ ----- ÏUTÓIZED ÐÏÍ ---- ÐHASE ÏF THE ÍOON ÐÔÆ ---- ÐERMANENT ÔEMPORARY ÆIX ÒÄÏÓ --- ÒEAL ÄUMB ÏPERATING ÓYSTEM ÓÈÉÔ --- ÓQUARE ÈOLES ÉN ÔAPE ÓÎÁ ---- ÓCAPEGOAT ÎETWORK ÁRCHITECTURE ÓÏ ---- ÓAME ÏLD ÂINARY ÔÐÄ ---- ÔRIVIAL ÐROGRAM ÄIAGNOSTIC ÔÓÏ ---- ÔHE ÓLOW ÏNE ÕÇ ----- ÕNIÇOOFY "ÔHE ÆIELD ÓERVICE ÁNTHEM" ÔAKE ME OUT TO THE MAINFRAME, ÔAKE ME OUT TO THE DISK ÇIVE ME MY SCOPE AND MY SOLDER GUN, É'LL FIND OUT WHY THIS DAMN THING WON'T RUN. ÆOR IT'S TEST, TEST, TEST ALL THOSE MODULES, ÕNTIL THEY BURST OUT IN FLAME. ÆOR ITS ONE, TWO, THREE SHORTS YOU'RE OUT, ÉN THE OLD MAINFRAME ÃOMMON LANGUAGE Á LANGUAGE USED ONLY BY THE ORIGINATOR AND HIS (OR HER) CLOSEST FRIENDS AND THEIR SUBORDINATES ÃONVERSION ÔHE REGULAR, MAJOR RE-WRITING OF ONE'S SOFTWARE AND DATABASES TO AVOID THE STIGMA OF ÏÂÓÏÌÅÓÃÅÎÃÅ ÃÐÍ (ÃHARLATANS ÐER ÍINUTE) ÉN "QUEUEING THEORY", THE ARRIVAL RATE OF SALESPERSONS, INDICATING THE NUMBER OF MAILING LISTS TO WHICH THE VISITEE HAS BEEN EXPOSED ÃURSOR ADDRESS "ÈELLO CURSOR!" ÄEADLINE ÏNE OF A SEQUENCE OF VAGUE PROPHECIES; A GIVEN DATE BEFORE WHICH ASSIGNMENTS MUST ÎÏÔ BE FINISHED ÄEBUGGING ÒEMOVING A ÂÕÇ, EITHER BY TINKERING WITH THE PROGRAM OR BY AMENDING THE PROGRAM SPECIFICATION SO THAT THE SIDE EFFECT OF THE BUG IS PUBLISHED AS A ÄÅÓÉÒÁÂÌÅ FEATURE ÄEGRADE 1. ÔO ADD A TERMINAL TO (A TIMESHARING SYSTEM) 2. ÔO PROMOTE (A PROGRAMMER) TO SYSTEMS ANALYST ÄOCUMENTATION 1. ÔHE PROMISED LITERATURE THAT FAILS TO ARRIVE WITH THE SUPPORTING HARDWARE 2. Á SINGLE, ILLEGIBLE, PHOTOCOPIED PAGE OF PROPRIETARY CAVEATS AND SUGGESTED INFRACTIONS 3. ÔHE DETAILED, UNINDEXED DESCRIPTION OF A SUPERSEDED PACKAGE ÄUMP ÔHE BEWILDERED, NUMERICAL MAPPING OF EACH MOLECULE OF A CORPSE IN ORDER TO ESTABLISH THE CAUSE OF DEATH. ÔHE EXCESSIVE VOLUME OF INFORMATION IS SELF-DEFEATING, INSOFAR AS PUTREFICATION OUTPACES ANALYSIS. ÄYSLEXIA Á PROBLEM COMMON TO ÃÈÅÁÐ PERIPHERALS AND PRRUFREDDERS ÆINITE-STATE Á MACHINE WITH A LIMITED INSTRUCTION SET ÆIX ÔO REMOVE (A ÂÕÇ) BY REDEFINING THE PROGRAM SPECIFICATION IN ORDER TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE UNEXPECTED FEATURE ÆLOWCHART ÔHE IGNORANT MISLEADING THE ILLITERATE. "Á THOUSAND PICTURES IS WORTH TEN LINES OF CODE" ÆUNCTION Á DEVICE FOR MAPPING A DOMAIN OF UNKNOWN ARGUMENTS ONTO A RANGE OF INACCESSIBLE RESULTS ÇLASS ÔÔÙ Á ÃÒÔ TERMINAL SO LACKING IN FEATURES THAT IT BEHAVES LIKE A ÔÔÙ ÄOWN BY THE "ÓÙÓ" JOB STREAM, ×HERE É TASK BUILT YOU, ×ITH YOUR MODULES TOO, ÁND YOUR "ÏÄÌ" NEW ÉT WAS THEN É KNEW, ÔHAT YOU WOULD RUN TRUE ÙOU WERE 12Ë ÔHE OTHER WAY, ÙOU HAD BEEN 42 ÉMPLEMENTATION ÔHE FRUITLESS STRUGGLE BY THE TALENTED AND UNDERPAID TO FULLFILL PROMISES MADE BY THE RICH AND IGNORANT ÄOWNTIME ÔHE PERIOD DURING WHICH A SYSTEM IS ERROR FREE AND IMMUNE FROM USER INPUT ÏNE-LINE PATCH Á ËÌÕÄÇÅ SO MINIMAL THAT NO TESTING IS NECESSARY. ÉT IS CORRECTED BY A FURTHER ONE-LINE PATCH ÐLATEN Á SUPPLEMENTARY PRINT SPOOLING DEVICE WHICH CAN TYPICALLY RETAIN 20 LINES OF PRINT IN THE ABSENCE OF PAPER "ÐAPER ÌOW" Á LAMP WHICH LIGHTS TO INDICATE THAT YOUR OUTPUT IS NOW BEING SPOOLED TO THE PLATEN ÍACHINE-INDEPENDANT ÂEING OR PERTAINING TO A HARDWARE OR SOFTWARE ELEMENT THAT WILL ÎÏÔ WORK ON ÁÎÙ COMPUTER "ÃÏÍÅ ÆÒÏÍ" ÁN INSTRUCTION PROPOSED BY Ò. ÌAWRENCE ÃLARK IN 1973 TO RESOLVE THE "ÇÏÔÏ" CONTROVERSY. ÔHE INDUSTRY IS STILL (1982) BRISTLING IN DISBELIEF! ÂREAKPOINT Á SITUATION IN WHICH THE SYSTEM AND THE PROGRAMMER ARE TIED AFTER A CERTAIN NUMBER OF RUNS AND THE WINNER IS DECIDED BY A SERIES OF SUDDEN-DEATH ÄÕÍÐÓ ÃOMPUTER ÓCIENCE Á STUDY AKIN TO NUMEROLOGY AND ASTROLOGY, BUT LACKING THE ÐÒÅÃÉÓÉÏÎ OF THE FORMER AND THE ÓÕÃÃÅÓÓ OF THE LATTER ÃONSULTANT Á TIPSTER DISGUISED AS AN ORACLE, ESPECIALLY ONE WHO HAS LEARNED TO DECAMP AT HIGH SPEED, IN SPITE OF A LARGE BRIEFCASE AND A HEAVY WALLET ÅXTENDED ÂÁÓÉà ÁNY ÂÁÓÉà COMPILER ENHANCED WITH FEATURES STOLEN FROM ÃÏÂÏÌ AND MEETING ÁÎÙ Ô×Ï OF THE FOLLOWING CONDITIONS: 1. ÔHE COST EXCEEDS $40.00 2. ÌINE NUMBERS CAN BE INCREMENTED AUTOMATICALLY OR OMITTED 3. ÔAPE CASSETTES ARE NOT SUPPORTED ÎETWOK Á ÎÅÔ×ÏÒË RUNNING UNDER THE ÃHINESE ÖÍÏÓ PROTOCOL ÍÉÃÒ: (ÍAGNETIC-ÉNK ÃHARACTER ÒECOGNITION) Á SYSTEM FOR BOUNCING CHECKS OF THE WRONG POLARITY ÏÃÒ: (ÏPTICAL ÃHARACTER ÒECOGNITION) Á METHOD FOR MISREADING SOURCE DOCUMENTS DIRECTLY INTO A SYSTEM WITHOUT HAVING TO MISPUNCH CARDS FIRST ÃHINESE ÔOTAL Á CHECKSUM METHODOLOGY ORIGINALLY DEVELOPED FOR "ÙÏÄÁÌÓ" (ÙANGTSE ÏPIUM ÄEN ÁCCOUNTS ÌECEIVABLE ÓYSTEM), THEREFORE IT IS OFTEN REFERRED TO AS A "HASH TOTAL" ÌEMMA ÔHREE, VERY PRETTY, AND THE CONVERSE PRETTY TOO; BUT ONLY ÇOD AND ÆERMAT KNOWS WHICH ONE OF THEM IS TRUE ×ORST CASE DESIGN ÔHE ONE DELIVERED ÓPOOL Á HIGHLY VOLATILE ÂÕÆÆÅÒ ESTABLISHED TO HOLD ÓÕÒÐÌÕÓ DATA (KNOWN AS RESULTS) FOR A PERIOD NOT EXCEEDING THE ÍÔÂÆ OF OF THE PARTICULAR OUTPUT DEVICE BEING SPOOLED ÓTABILITY ÔHE PERIOD BETWEEN CRASHES ÓTATE-OF-THE-ART Á PROJECT OR DEVICE AWAITING FUNDING ÓUBROUTINE ÁNY TRIVIAL, OVERDOCUMENTED PROGRAM WRITTEN BY YOUR IMMEDIATE SUPERVISOR ÓUPERCOMPUTER ÁNY MACHINE STILL ON THE DRAWING BOARD ÓUPERSTITION ÁN IRRATIONAL BELIEF OR RITUAL WHICH SURVIVES UNTIL REPLACED BY A MORE EFFECTIVE SUPERSTITION. ÔHE REPLACEMENT IS KNOWN AS "UPDATING THE SYSTEMS DOCUMENTATION." ÓWEATSHOP Á DEPARTMENT DEVOTED TO THE RAPID, ACCURATE, AND ÃÈÅÁÐ ENTRY OF DATA ÔEXT EDITOR ÔHE SOFTWARE NEEDED TO GENERATE ANY NUMBER OF DEVIANT COPIES FROM AN ORIGINAL, CORRECT TEXT ÓCROLLING ÁN OPERATION ALLOWING LINES OF DATA TO MOVE QUICKLY UP AND OFF A ÃÒÔ SCREEN BEFORE THEY CAN BE OF ANY USE TO THE OPERATOR ÓOFTWARE ROT Á HYPOTHETICAL DISEASE THE EXISTENCE OF WHICH HAS BEEN DEDUCED FROM THE OBSERVATION THAT UNUSED PROGRAMS OR FEATURES WILL STOP WORKING AFTER SUFFICIENT TIME HAS PASSED, EVEN IF "NOTHING HAS CHANGED." ÓTEPWISE REFINEMENT ÁNY SEQUENCE OF ËÌÕÄÇÅÓ, NOT NECESSARILY DISTINCT OR FINITE, APPLIED TO PROGRAM "Ð" AIMED AT TRANSFORMING IT INTO THE TARGET PROGRAM "Ñ" ÔEMPLATE Á DEVICE FOR PRODUCING STYLIZED GRAFFITI ÔHROWAWAY CHARACTER ÁNY CHARACTER IN A TRANSMITTED MESSAGE ÔIME ÔHAT WHICH TRIES TO PREVENT EVERYTHING FROM HAPPENING AT ONCE ÔIMESHARING Á SYSTEM IN WHICH MANY USERS TRY TO CORRUPT THE SAME DATA BASE SIMULTANEOUSLY ÔIME SLICE ÔHE OCCASIONAL ÃÐÕ CYCLE BEGRUDGINGLY CONCEDED BY THE OPERATING SYSTEM TO THE USER. ÁLSO CALLED ÔÈÅ ÐÅÒÉÏÄ ÁÔ ÒÉÓË ÔRUNCATE ÔO REMOVE (FROM A FIELD, STRING, MESSAGE, OR SALARY) SOME OR ALL OF THE MOST SIGNIFICANT DIGITS OR CHARACTERS ÔURNAROUND (ÏF A TAB CARD OR DOCUMENT) PREPARED BY A COMPUTER AND SENT OUT IN THE HOPE THAT, WHEN RETURNED, IT WILL PROVIDE MACHINE-READABLE PROOF THAT IT'S BACK ÔWO'S COMPLEMENT ÔHREE'S A CROWD ÕPGRADE Á PAINFUL CRISIS DURING WHICH ONE'S FAITH IN THE ÐÒÅÖÉÏÕÓ SYSTEM IS RESTORED ÕSER ÔHE INDIVIDUAL OR GROUP INVOICED FOR AND WAITING TO OPERATE CERTAIN BOXED ITEMS LYING UNOPENED IN ANOTHER DEPARTMENT ÖERIFICATION ÁN OPTIONAL METHOD OF COMPOUNDING THE ERRORS OF DATA ENTRY ÖERSION ÁNY ONE OF A SERIES OF CONFLICTING, MUTILATED COPIES OF A LOST ORIGINAL ÌATEST VERSION ÔHAT VERSION WHICH MOST EXCEEDS THE DEADLINE FOR COMPLETION ×ORD PROCESSING ÁNY SYSTEM EQUIPED WITH A SLOW, DOUBLE-CASE PRINTER ÄO YOU KNOW WHERE YOUR "ÐÏÓÓÌÑ" IS? ÐÏÓÓÌÑ ÐERSONS OF THE ÏPPOSITE ÓEX ÓHARING ÌIVING ÑUARTERS (ÆROM 1980 Õ.Ó. ÃENSUS ÂUREAU CANVASSER INSTRUCTIONS) ÎUMBERING ÓYSTEMS: ÄECIMAL ÃOUNTING ON THE FINGERS OF YOUR HANDS ÏCTAL ÃOUNTING ON YOUR FINGERS WITH YOUR THUMBS CUT OFF ÂINARY ÃOUNTING ON YOUR FINGERS WITH YOUR FINGERS CUT OFF ÒEPEATABILITY ÔHE ABSOLUTELY CONSISTANT RECURRENCE OF AN ERRONEOUS RESULT. ÁFTER MAJOR EQUIPMENT SYSTEMS HAVE BEEN REPAIRED AND REASSEMBLED, PARTS WILL BE NOTICED ON THE FLOOR. "ÃORE" STANDARD Á SET OF GRAPHICS STANDARDS DEVISED SO THAT ÁÌÌ SOFTWARE SUPPLIERS PACKAGES ÍÁÙ ÎÏÔ BE IN COMPLIANCE WITH THE SAME COMMON SET ÍY PROGRAM Á GEM OF ALGORISTIC PRECISION, OFFERING THE MOST SUBLIME BALANCE BETWEEN COMPACT, EFFICIENT CODING ON THE ONE HAND, AND FULLY COMMENTED LEGIBILITY FOR POSTERITY ON THE OTHER ØÄÓ: (ØEROX ÄATA ÓYSTEMS) ÁBBREVIATION IN USE UNTIL 1976, WHEN ØEROX ÃORPORATION DECIDED TO CONCENTRATE ON THE TRADITIONAL, MORE RELIABLE ASPECTS OF REPROGRAPHY ÁBACUS Á RELIABLE ÓÏÌÉÄ-ÓÔÁÔÅ BINARY COMPUTING DEVICE NOW PARTLY SUPERSEDED BY THE ÃRAY SERIES ÏH, GIVE ME A HOME, ×HERE ASSEMBLERS ROAM, ×HERE COMPILERS AND INTERPRETERS PLAY, ×HERE SELDOM IS HEARD, ÁN ERROR MESSAGE WORD, CAUSE A TASK IS ÎÏÔ SCHEDULED ALL DAY! ÆOOLPROOF ÉNACCESSIBLE TO THE USER ÒEENTRANT ÏF OR RELATING TO A PROGRAM SPECIALLY CONSTRUCTED TO MISLEAD SEVERAL USERS AT THE SAME TIME ÔHE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL IS THE ÈÅÁÄÌÁÍÐ OF AN ONCOMING TRAIN ÍICROPROCESSOR ÔWENTY YEARS OF ARCHITECTURAL BUNGLING COMBINED ON A ÓÉÎÇÌÅ CHIP ÈIGH-LEVEL ÌANGUAGE ÁNY SET OF ACRONYMS DEVISED BY THE MANUFACTURER MARKETING DIVISION OR DEVELOPED AS A REHABILITATION PROJECT IN THEIR ÁLCOHOLICS ÁNONYMOUS PROGRAM ÂUFFER Á REGION BETWEEN TWO DEVICES THAT IS DESIGNED TO DISTORT OR, IF POSSIBLE, PREVENT THE FLOW OF DATA IN EITHER DIRECTION ÅXCEPTION REPORTING Á SYSTEM WITH INTERMITTENT PRINTER PROBLEMS ÙOUR PROGRAM Á MAZE OF NON SEQUITURS LITTERED WITH CLEVER-CLEVER TRICKS AND IRRELEVANT COMMENTS ÂIT ÂUCKET 1. Á BINARY SPITOON 2. Á DIGITAL CUSPIDOR ÂENCHMARK ÔO SUBJECT (A SYSTEM) TO A SERIES OF TESTS IN ORDER TO OBTAIN PREARRANGED RESULTS THAT ARE NOT AVAILABLE ON COMPETITIVE SYSTEMS ÂIT ÔHE QUANTUM OF MISINFORMATION ÃÁÉ (ÃOMPUTER-ÁIDED ÉNSTRUCTION) ÔHE MISGUIDED ATTEMPT TO REPLACE EACH TEACHER IN THE ÂRONX WITH 60 ON-LINE TERMINALS ÃÁÌÌ Á POLITE ÂÕÔ UNHEEDED PLEA FOR ÈÅÌÐ FROM ONE PIECE OF TROUBLED CODING TO ANOTHER. ÓUBSEQUENT, LESS POLITE, CALLS ARE KNOWN AS ÓÃÒÅÁÍÓ ÃHADLESS TAPE ÐAPER TAPE PREPARED ON A PUNCH WITH BLUNT PINS ÇLOBAL (ÏF A VARIABLE) ÂEING ABLE TO BOUNCE AROUND THE SYSTEM, TRANSFERING ARBITRARY VALUES TO AND FROM UNCONNECTED PROGRAMS ÇÏÓÕ Á ÃÁÌÌ MADE ON SOME NONEXISTANT OR NONCOOPERATIVE ROUTINE, RESULTING IN INSTANT DOWNAGE ÇÏÔÏ ÔO TRANSFER PROGRAM CONTROL TO NOWHERE IN PARTICLAR ÇRAPHICS ÁNY SYSTEM CAPABLE OF, AND MAINLY ENGAGED IN, THE DISPLAY OR PLOTTING OF CONTINUOUS-LINE ÓNOOPY, ÙODA, ËERMIT, OR ÍISS ÐIGGY RENDITIONS ÉNCOMPLETENESS THEOREM ÔHE EMPIRICALLY UNIMPEACHABLE FACT THAT AT LEAST ONE VITAL ELEMENT IN THE SYSTEM WILL ÎÏÔ BE DELIVERED, AS: "×HERE'S THE #$%!ING POWER LEAD?" ÊOHN ÂIRCH ÍACHINE Á FINITE-STATE MACHINE IN WHICH THE TAPE MOVES TO THE ÒÉÇÈÔ AFTER EVERY COMPUTATION ÊOB TRICKLE ÔHE SYSTEM'S ATTEMPT TO MATCH THE RATE OF EXECUTION TO THE PROGRAMMER'S CODING RATE ËLUDGE ÓOMETHING THAT WORKS FOR THE WRONG REASONS ÌIBERATION Á SPECIALIZED, HEADY FORM OF EMULATION, ALLOWING THE USER TO SWITCH RAPIDLY FROM ONE MANUFACTURER (USUALLY ÉÂÍ) TO ANOTHER (USUALLY ÈONEYWELL) DURING AN ORGIASTIC HALF-PRICE PERIOD KNOWN AS THE "HAPPY HOUR" ÍAINTENANCE ÔHE REPLACEMENT OF ONE SET OF ERROR STATES BY ANOTHER ÍETAPROGRAMMER ÓOMEONE WHO IS ABOVE PROGRAMMING BUT NOT YET READY FOR SYSTEMS ANALYSIS ÎUMBER CRUNCHER Á ÈÅÁÖÙ DEVICE FOR TESTING THE COMPRESSIBILITY OF NUMBERS. ÔHE TRADITIONAL METHOD, PIONEERED BY ÃÄÃ, IS TO SUBJECT EACH NUMBER TO PROGRESSIVELY DENSER ÆÏÒÔÒÁÎ PROGRAMS UNTIL ALL 60 BITS SQUEAK ÐÁÓÃÁÌ MANUAL ÁNY BOOK WITH AN INTRODUCTION OR FORWARD WRITTEN BY ÐROFESSOR ÎIKLAUS ×IRTH ÐESSIMIZING COMPILER Á COMPILER THAT PRODUCES OBJECT CODE THAT IS WORSE THAN THE STRAIGHTFORWARD OR OBVIOUS TRANSLATION ÐIGEONHOLE ÁN APPROPRIATE DESTINATION FOR MOST DATA, ÃÈÅÁÐÅÒ THAN SORTING AND LIMITED ONLY BY THE SIZE AND COURAGE OF THE PIGEON ÐLOTTER ÔHE DEVICE OR PERSON AFTER YOUR JOB ÐROCTOLOGIST ÏNE WHO IS INVOLVED IN, OR INTRIGUED BY, THE OUTPUT PROBLEM ÐROGRAM Á SEQUENCE OF DETECTABLE AND UNDETECTABLE ERRORS AIMED AT COAXING SOME FORM OF RESPONSE FROM THE SYSTEM ÐROMPT Á ÄÅÌÁÙÅÄ MESSAGE FROM THE SYSTEM DEMANDING AN ÉÍÍÅÄÉÁÔÅ RESPONSE FROM THE USER ÐROGRAMMER ÏNE WHO CLAIMS OR APPEARS TO BE ENGAGED IN THE PRACTICAL, NONSYSTEMATIC STUDY OF CRASHING THE SYSTEM ÐUNCH Á DEVICE USED TO REDUCE THE WEIGHT OF A CARD OR PAPER TAPE IN ORDER TO MINIMIZE POSTAL CHARGES ÒANDOM FILE Á PLACE WHERE THINGS CAN GET LOST IN ANY SEQUENCE ÒÄÃÍ (ÒEVERSIBLE ÄOCUMENT ÃOLLATION ÍETHODOLOGY) ÐAPER CLIPS ÒECURSIVE ÒECURSIVE ÒELEASE Á SET OF KLUDGES ISSUED BY THE MANUFACTURER WHICH CLASHES WITH THE PRIVATE FIXES MADE BY THE USER SINCE THE LAST RELEASE ÓHILOP ÒÅÖÅÒÓÅÄ POLISH NOTATION ÓOURCE CODE ÔHE VERSION OF A PROGRAM TO WHICH THE COMPILER OBJECTS.